When someone says, “I just miss being loved. I give so much love, but no one gives it back to me,” what they’re expressing is not weakness—it’s humanity. God made us for love. The very fabric of our being is designed for giving and receiving love. That ache is real, but it is also a clue: it points us back to the One who is love Himself (1 John 4:8, “For God is love”).
The danger comes when we try to satisfy that hunger for love in places that cannot truly fill us—relationships, validation from people, emotional highs, or even fleeting spiritual feelings. Those things may bring comfort for a moment, but they cannot sustain the soul. That’s why people end up disappointed, saying, “I don’t feel loved at all.”
Can we ever experience God’s love for us as a feeling?
Here’s the truth: God’s love is not first about feelings; it is about faith. Romans 5:8 declares, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” That’s not a feeling—that’s a fact. Whether you feel it or not, God’s love is constant, sacrificial, and unchanging.
Yes, there are times when you will feel His love in your emotions—in worship, in prayer, or in moments of His presence. For example, the feeling of God’s love is almost like a lightning strike. Whenever this encounter hits, you can’t control it. You feel love at that moment but then, you don’t feel it a lot of other times. Every once in a while in a church service, you may feel the love of God but there’s nothing there in that unique experience that you can at any time return to immediately, when you want to experience His love through that particular feeling.
Do my circumstances show me how much God loves me?
Many are trying to determine God’s love by their circumstances. When their circumstances are good they think, ‘God loves me’. When circumstances are bad they think, ‘I guess He doesn’t love me as much.’ ‘Maybe He’s mad at me.’ If you’re considering how to experience God’s love and you base it on your circumstances your emotions will run like a yo-yo or roller coaster. Why? You’re searching for happiness and fulfillment outside of God. Then we try to create our own idea of what love is apart from God by forming in our minds an idea such as, “Love is Love.” The problem with this is that it is fleeting, circumstantial, false. Seeking happiness and fulfillment from worldly pleasures, people, or possessions will ultimately prove to be an unsatisfying pursuit. This is the “wrong place” many people look for love. But faith anchors us when feelings fail. Faith says, “Even when I don’t feel loved, I know I am loved, because God has proven it at the cross.”
So, the question becomes: where are you looking for love? If it’s in people, in emotions, or in circumstances—you’ll keep coming up empty. But if you look to Christ, you’ll find a love that is unfailing, everlasting, and unconditional.
Finding divine love (Agape Love) is found only through a relationship with Jesus Christ! This kind of love is the unconditional love of God that can be experienced even in turbulent times. God loves you because He is love, and He gives freely to you. It’s unconditional. There are no borders and there’s no boundaries. God’s love is not based on performance but on His perfect nature. You were loved by God even while you were still a sinner. Romans 5:8, “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”
Knowing God’s real love is looking to the Scriptures that testify of the Cross of His Son, Jesus Christ!
“For this is how God loved the world: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
“This is real love—not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” 1 John 4:10
This is the KEY, focusing on Jesus’ death for me. Do you know Jesus’ suffering on your behalf started in the Garden of Gethsemane? Where He sweat blood because He was so stressed from the fact that He knew that to take on sin and to become sin, He’d be separated from His Father. And He did that. He made that decision for you. And then He allowed Himself to go through horrible suffering for you. The Scriptures further reveal to us: He was whipped with a cat of nine tails before being put on the cross. It said that Jesus was taken early, early in the morning before the sun rose up. It was extremely cold that morning. His back was laid open, completely bare. Whipped to the point where most people would die through that experience. I know you experienced that your skin is much more sensitive when it’s cold and chilly. Well, He was whipped when it was frigid in the morning. He did that because He loves you. They put a crown of thorns on His head and then took a reed and just beat those thorns into His head. They spat on Him. They ripped His beard out. They mocked Him. He did that for you because He loves you so much. And then He carried His own cross as far as He could until He couldn’t carry it anymore. And then that’s when they put spikes and drove it through His hands, through the flesh, into the wooden beam on the other side. Nails driven into them. Our greatest nerves are right where the wrist is. What torture that would have to be to have nails driven through your hands there. And then nails were driven through His feet into that wooden post. And then He was hung by those nails, and He hung there for six hours suffering. It bears repeating. He did it for you!
Relationship with God is the answer: Experiencing God’s love on a personal level is the key to having a secure and fulfilling life. This is the “right place” to seek and find love.
Marguerite Wafula
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